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Dating intimacy issues

Naturally, this too will leave us estranged and emotionally distant from each other.

Talk about issues in non-heated moments When engines are revved and chords are struck, it's not always the best time to get into a conversation about the state of our relationship.

We use their flaws against them, cataloging their shortcomings in our minds until admiration slowly erodes into cynicism.

When this transformation occurs, we become highly attuned to our partners' less desirable traits.

As a therapist, I often hear couples complain that whenever one partner tries to get close, the other pulls away.

It's a painful reality that love isn't always as easy to give and receive as we'd like to think.

Conversely, when we interrupt this tendency to build a case, we can focus on ourselves and act in ways that truly represent who we are and how we feel.

Staying vulnerable, open and compassionate toward our partner can make them feel safe and allow them to take a chance on being close.

Look at ourselves If we notice our partners pulling away at certain points, it's helpful to explore ways we might be contributing to the problem or even provoking it.

Wherever these challenges come from, we can start to overcome them by identifying destructive patterns and dynamics in our relationships.

For example, when our partner pulls back, how do we respond?

Perhaps this action creates a certain amount of desperation within us, which in turn might leave us acting more needy or dependent toward them.

Our distressed behaviors may make our partner more critical, perceiving us as weak or clingy, and they may then pull back further.

285 comments

  1. Maybe your guy is a great listener and actually wants to help you fix what's bothering you, but if he avoids talking about his own problems, he's probably scared of opening up and being vulnerable with you. Expecting this out of the person you're dating shouldn't be a big deal, but to a person with intimacy issues, it's huge.

  2. Feb 7, 2012. Do we talk down to them by trying to fix their problems or telling them what to do? Do we complain to them? Do we ever draw them out or just let them vent? We can take a powerful position in making our relationship closer by changing our own behavior. As psychologist and author, Dr. Pat Love says, “Feel.

  3. Feb 1, 2006. I'm sure that you've encountered a woman with a fear of intimacy at some point in your life. She may have been outgoing and confident, shy and troubled, or a little bit of both. Whatever the case, she wasn't going to let just anyone get too close. The problem was that you wanted to be close to her and.

  4. Fear of intimacy is a term we often hear in the world of dating, romance and relationships but few understand what it really means. Is fear of intimacy. A working definition of the term, fear of intimacy, is as follows an individual who has fears and problems being emotionally and physically close to another person. Fear of.

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