In the introduction above, the opening line does not serve to grab the reader’s attention.Instead, it is a statement of an obvious and mundane fact. A more effective attention grabber may point out a specific, and perhaps surprising, instance when adults use math in their daily lives, in order to show the reader why this is such as important topic to consider.
The Board of Regents has authorized the university to charge a student's delinquent account for all collection costs incurred by the university.
Instead, you might try to make the reader see why this is such an important topic to discuss.
Finally, this sample introduction is lacking a clear thesis statement.
When I was a child, I used math to run a lemonade stand.
I will be talking more about these things in my paper.